TOTSCREW

It's the day of the show, y’all... more like it's the closing of the show y'all and I am honestly in awe and in a little disbelief that we’re already at closing night. This was an incredible project that I am so thankful I got to be a part of. These students have worked incredibly hard and maintained such a positive attitude even in the midst of a very difficult Britten score. I always left a rehearsal feeling so inspired and in awe of their dedication, determination, and talent. The Turn of the Screw (TOTS) is an opera written with a contemporary flare of disjunct vocal lines accompanied by an intense story about a frantic governess taking care of two children in a spooky Downton Abbey type home. The source material is intense to say the least and Britten replicates that in his compositional style which has often been compared to the compositional format of serialism. What could have pushed these performers into a state of darkness, depression, and angst, I instead, watched these students get out of their heads and walk away from these rehearsals with a newness and lightheartedness that I’m positive was needed to stay healthy and sane through this process.

At my first rehearsal with the cast, I’ll be honest, I was little overwhelmed that I had volunteered and said yes to being an assistant stage manager (ASM) for this project. The music was difficult to follow as the time signatures used were that of 5/4 or 9/8 or differing signatures were played simultaneously. It was rather confusing, and I forgot how time consuming and late rehearsals typically are for an educational show. Alas, I didn’t run away, and boy am I so glad I stuck around. Watching Ellen Schlaefer direct and pull nuances from the music and show was fascinating. Watching the performers create, experiment with their characters, and grow in their musicality has truly been so educational. Watching a dear little 9-year-old boy attend late rehearsals and sing a Britten score with confidence was absolutely humbling. Watching every person from cast to crew take pride and ownership of this show has been inspiring.

A few of my colleagues have asked why I didn’t audition for the USC operas. My answer has always been that I wanted to adjust a little more to school and a new voice teacher before trying to take on a show. The truth is though, I would much rather be a part of the behind-the-scenes action of a show than be a performer on the stage. I concluded during this process as to why this was. My Enneagram 2 wing 1 self has been living her best life as I served my cast and crew these past few weeks, created excel sheets, and take color coded notes of the lives of the characters and props of TOTS. I am a people pleaser through and through and performances will never reach an ultimate perfection. There will always be room for improvement and growth which I find to be quite frustrating most of the time. As an ASM, I call cues, I check the props, I make sure the cast is being safe and where they are supposed to be. There is no gray in a checklist – I’ve either done the task or not, and that is the life of an ASM or SM. It’s a black and white job – a job that I realize I can thrive in.

Although I went home exhausted both physically and emotionally and lost a lot of sleep through this process, I wouldn’t change it for a thing. The Lord has taught me that resilience, grace, patience, and rest truly come from God alone and that Sabbath is meant for my good always. The week before tech week, I worked my tail off Monday-Saturday, so I could take Sabbath on Sunday. I studied, wrote my papers, and did my homework throughout the day and even after rehearsals, and ran my errands all before church gathering on Sunday. It took some perseverance, but when Sunday came, I got to worship with my community, study God’s word, and truly experience a rest day in the Lord. I didn’t turn on the TV once or look at anything school related and woke up on Monday feeling totally and completely rejuvenated. It was an ideal Sabbath and I highly recommend it becoming a practice you start incorporating ASAP. Not only does it draw you more into God’s presence, but also, it’s one of the 10 commandments , so you really should be doing this just like all the others. (and I’m preaching to myself when I write this because I’m not good at being consistent with it).

It has been such an honor getting to experience this show with so many talented and hardworking people. Toi, toi, toi to the cast and crew of TOTS.